Leaving on a Jet Plane.

OMFG and I are done for now.

He called me a couple of days ago and was on his way to work. He was missing me, I was missing him. But we couldn't see each other for one reason or another. I kind of broke down. I told him it wasn't fair to either of us. He agreed, but I could see he wasn't going to be the one to end things. Finally, I started crying on the phone. Not uncontrollably, but enough he could tell over the phone.
I said, "I don't want to do this." (break up)
"Then don't."
"We can't go on like this. Too many people are getting hurt."

LONG PAUSE

Then, I said, "I don't think we should see each other anymore." He tried to fight with me, but I told him it was no use. I was serious. We needed to take time to see how we felt about our significant others and time away from each other to figure things out.

I'm kind of heartbroken.

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I fell for him. He was so funny, no one makes me laugh like that. He made me question everything I had come to know. Six months ago, I was so sure about my life. I knew what I wanted, where I was headed. Everything is upside down now. How do I make it right? What is right? Do I follow my heart, or make things right with Mr. Nice Guy?

I have no answers.

All I know is, I feel alone. I find myself feeling like that all the time when I am surrounded by friends. I think it is because there is no one who knows what I am going through except for OMFG and thats not helping things. I need someone to confide in. It's hard to keep this all in.

OMFG will be out of town on business for two weeks. I am trying not to talk to him at all. I feel like I should need some space. But I think about him constantly. Incessently. I wake up thinking about him, and I fall asleep imagining myself in his arms.

FML.

When he gets back, we'll talk. See how we feel and how much we miss each other.

Right now, I just want to kiss him.

I love the way he kisses. He starts out so slow, drawing me in. At first, it's just liplocks. It takes a few short kisses for our tongues to find each other. And when they do, the kisses being deeper. We kiss with such a ferver and insistance that you would think our lives depended on it. I don't know how long I can go without that.