When the Wind Blows.

OMFG "broke up" with me. I put that in quotations because I am not sure that is the correct term for when the person that you are cheating on your S.O. with tells you maybe you should stop.

I saw him in the morning and we were touching, kissing, everything was fine. Normal. We talked about how crazy it was that we fell in love and what the hell are we going to do now. There was alot of staring at the ground. Its hard to make eye contact when every time you look at each other you start kissing passionately. Makes difficult conversations nearly impossible.

The conversation went something like this:
"We didn't mean for this to happen, we were friends and I think the feelings were brewing on the surface. Then we opened the door and everything happened so fast." I said.

"Yeah, I felt something for you since the beginning. I just didn't say anything because of Mr. Nice Guy."

"What do we do now? If we stop, the feelings will still be there."

"I don't know what to do. I think about that all the time. When I'm not thinking about you, I'm thinking about what we are going to do about this situation."

"This is so hard. How did this happen? We are both with really good people which makes this even worse."

"I know. It would be much easier if he (Mr. Nice Guy) was an asshole, but he's not. I like him. Maybe we should try to stop. See what happens." OMFG said. My face fell. "I don't want to stop. I know I should, but I don't want to. We'll have to not see each other for a while because I don't think I could handle it."

"We have to see each other or they (our significant others) will suspect something."

"So this is what you want to do?"

"I think we should try." He said, and looked at me. It was so hard to look at him. I was fighting back tears. I don't like to cry. "I have to go. Or I'm going to cry." I started to walk away. I could feel him looking at me. "You're really leaving?" he asked. I turned to look at him, "Yeah, I have to go."

I got in my car and drove off. I stopped about 1 minute later at a gas station. I sent him a text that read, "I made it as far as 7-11 before I had to stop to cry."

I sat there, thinking about what we had done, and how this happened and how now I was crying in a parking lot over a guy that was supposed to be my friend.

I received a reply. "I feel like shit." Welcome to the club. I asked him, "Ok, but are you hurting? How do you feel." He said, "I feel like I was stabbed in the chest."

"Well, this was your idea, we'll try it." I said.

"But I miss you already"

I got back on the road, and continued to think about him. There was a line that we crossed. We shouldn't have crossed it, but now we can't go back. You can't take back telling someone you love them, that part of your heart is now theirs to keep. After about 30 minutes I received a new text. "Let's just forget this. I said try it, and obviously its not working."

I smiled and replied, "So, a 30 minute break-up?"

"It wasn't a break up. It was a hiccup."

"Ok. That makes me happy."

And several hours later I received a new message. "I love you alot."

"You do? What made you say that?"

"Yeah, I miss you and I can't get you off my mind."

Love that. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I don't know where this is headed, and I'm sure its going to end badly. But for now, I'm just going to live and see what happens.

I can't stop thinking about him.