What is a Girl to Do?

Things are changing.

I really like Mr. Nice Guy. We are talking on the phone every night since we live in different cities. It kind of feels like high school. But, I enjoy the conversation. He is over-complimentary to me. He is always telling me how beautiful or amazing I am. It's weird. So different that what I had with The Ex.

This weekend I am making a trip for a friends wedding and to see him. I wrote that sentence and thought about because am I talking about seeing The Ex? Or Mr. Nice Guy? And, I left the sentence the way it way because I will probably see both of them. The Ex and I have joint custody of two dogs and I would really like to see the dog that he has custody of.

I am definitely looking forward to seeing Mr. Nice Guy. I am thinking that I may be ready to sleep with him. I didn't want to before because I actually liked him, so I didn't want to rush things. It's so easy with him. I feel like myself, more than I ever have with anyone else. I feel like so far, other than the traveling no real effort has to be put in this relationship. It just happens.

So, do I see TDH tonight? Or No?

He wants me to come by the bar that he works at and see him and Lemons. It would be nice to flirt for a minute. Here is how I picture it: I walk in in a jean miniskirt and heels. They think I look hot and are happy to see me. Talk to them for a few minutes and enjoy the flirting, then leave. I don't want anything to happen with them, but I still want to flirt and get that exhilaration of having two guys want me.

Selfish. I know.

Had a job interview today. It went really well and it is a job I would LOVE.

Let's hope I get it.

Is a Relationships still a Relationship if You Don't Call it That??

Things with Mr. Nice Guy are fantastic.

Last weekend he came to visit me, even though I am in my new city which is almost two hours away. I was missing him horribly. Which is a bad sign if you are dating a guy when you aren't sure you want to be in a relationship and he is sure that he wants to be.

Does any of this make sense?

As I have mentioned before, I haven't been single that long. I got out the relationship with the ex and I have dated several guys but still not single for long. I thought it would be at least a year before I had a relationship again. How do you know when you are ready?

Now, my circumstances with The Ex were different. I had to be ready to leave him before I would have the courage to do it. So, in my mind, I was checked out way before I actually told him. We had been together a long time and I really loved him but I had to get out. I couldn't handle the issues that he had. I don't care to go into it here, because some things are private, but suffice it so say it was not a healthy situation.

So, do my circumstances change the amount of time I need before I date someone seriously again?

TDH called me today and wants to see me this weekend. Do I want to see him? I'm not sure.

I have decided to play it by ear. I can't let a really great guy that I love spending time with slip through my fingers. He is amazing. When I am with him I am completely myself. He makes me laugh which is always number one on my list. And, he is the most caring person I have ever met.

The highlight of my weekend?
Cuddling.

Observe.

Some Observations.

There are too many people in the world that don't know how to be single. They make it messy. They meet people that obviously are not a good fit for them and drag it out. Keep dating them. String them along. People get hurt. Hearts can be broken. The interesting thing about this phenomena is that they realize within a couple dates that this relationship won't work out, or the person has characteristics that they don't like and they KEEP DATING THEM.

I don't get it.

I know someone who dated a guy for a while who was not right for her mainly because he had personal issues he needed to resolve. She kept seeing him and was pretty attached. And when it all fell apart, as it always does in these situations, she was hurt. Looking back, I am sure she realizes if she had ended it when she saw the signs she would have been better off.

Hindsight is always 20/20.

I haven't been single long. I was the The Ex for a long time and I learned so much about myself. I learned that when I met him I didn't know who I was. And people who have no identity have no business dating. I lost myself in him. Which is an absolute shame because I am an interesting intelligent woman. It has taken me a while now to regain what I had lost and become whole again. I don't want to repeat that pattern that I had with The Ex so I am uber conscious when dating now. I look for the signs. Does he seem controlling? Do I apologize too much to him? Do I pretend to be interested in things I don't like to appease him? So far, I haven't done any of those things but when you are in your early twenties you sometimes want to be in love so much that you fall in love with the idea of it instead of the person. Or, at least, that is what happened to me.

Things with Mr. Nice Guy are still good. No sex yet. Wednesday night we slept together and he held me all night.

It felt right.

Choices.

I heard from Hottie on Saturday. He wanted me to meet him at a bar but I was on a date with Mr. Nice Guy. I know what would've happened had I shown up. We would have had a few drinks and then gone back to his place. There is no real potential for dating there. (He has some personal things going on that I don't want to be involved in) But the man is beautiful. I told him I would be in town in two weeks. We left it at that.

I don't know that I want to see him at all though. I really like Mr. Nice Guy and an don't want to mess this up. It's strange, I was not looking for a relationship at all. I wanted to date and have fun. Which, I am. We are not exclusive, but I can see that is where this is headed. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On, the one hand I REALLY like him and enjoy his company. He makes me laugh which is sooo important to me. On the other, I was having a great time being single and I am not ready to give that up. So, for now at least, I am not going to. I am going to have fun but keep it from getting to serious. I will take it a day at a time.

Mr. Nice Guy and I still have not had sex. We have fooled around a little and something happened that concerned me. He does not manage his "situation." I thought that by our generation men knew the rules concerning this. I understand men wanting us to be taken care of in that area. It makes oral sex alot more fun. But, HELLO! We want the same courtesy from you!!!!! I love giving blow jobs. I can't say this enough. But I don't want hairy balls. I can't handle that. It's so not sexy. But, how do I bring this up without crushing him? I know he would be so embarrassed. Should I overlook it? Can I? I'm not sure. This is really perplexing me.

Other than that, so far the fooling around is good. He tends to have a bit of ADD when it comes to fingering me.
We were in bed and he moved his hand down my stomach to the top of my panties. I moaned a little to let him know that it felt good and he slipped his hand inside my panties. Immediately he found my clit. He was massaging it perfectly. I was squirming and moaning. He actually moved his body down toward my pussy so he could see it while he worked. It was hot. Then, when it was feeling really good and I was covering my face with a pillow, he stopped. He moved his fingers inside me, and that felt good too. He was pumping them in and out. My back arched. I moaned louder. And again he stopped. I understand building up the orgasm. But I am almost positive he wasn't doing that on purpose. I think he just thought he should alternate between the two for me to cum. I don't work like that. Once you find out what feels good and are doing it, DON'T STOP!!! Not until I moan, my back arches, I grab onto you and you feel the kegels tighten around you and I moan louder. Then I cum. Then you can stop.

I can teach that though. And I will, the next time I see him.

Dating Mr. Nice Guy

An interesting thing happened this week. After all the drama and craziness of TDH, Lemons and the Future Archaeologist, I started dating someone completely new. And I like him.

I wanted to post before now, but honestly I have been so busy I haven't had the time. Our first date was about a week ago and it was different than any other date I have been on. It seemed so natural. I didn't have to pretend with him, there were no games, it was just two people talking and enjoying the company of one another.

After the first date, I was concerned because, well, he is so NICE. I have never been with a guy that wasn't at least a 1/3 asshole and Mr. Nice Guy was so genuinely nice that I questioned it. He made NO MOVES the first date. He held my hand, put his hand on the small of my back, and smiled when I was telling a story. At the end of the night, no kiss.

I was in shock.

The second date we went to hear his friend sing in a band. She was amazing. And again, it was so comfortable. He was making me laugh and I was myself.

My last relationship I wasn't allowed to be myself. That is a really hard statement for me to make because I am an incredibly independent person and I never thought I would be in that situation, but I was. I made changes to myself to appease him and I lost myself in the process. I feel like I am back to who I was before we met, before we became a couple, before I got lost in all the fighting.

And now, with Mr. Nice Guy, I am able to be out with a man and feel like I am adored. It's strange.

And anyway, I kissed him.

I didn't think he was going to go for it without my okay so while we were playing pool and we had been laughing about something, I leaned into him and kissed him. He was receptive and closed his eyes and locked his lips with mine. It was slow, and soft, and I remember what he smelled like. I normally don't feel this doe eyed when it comes to guys...but something is different here.

We spent the following four days together. In between work and other committments we spent every evening together (and a few mornings) for the last four days. And, we haven't even had sex! I KNOW! I AM AS SHOCKED AS YOU! But, I like him, and don't want to rush it. So, we are enjoying each others company and seeing where things go.

Right now I live in two cities. One is my old city but I still have a house there and some committments but I have moved to another city two hours away. So, I am in the new city and Mr. Nice Guy is in the old. It's so unfortunate I didn't meet him earlier and we might have more time together. But, for now we are going to play it by ear.

Earlier today we were on the phone and he told me he just wanted me in his arms again. And, as cheesy as it sounds, that is all I can think about.