I remember watching 90210, and Brenda listening to Losing My Religion after Dylan broke up with her. I got in my car today, after an emotionally exhausting day, and Everybody Hurts was playing. The irony of everyday life never ceases to amaze me.
Pain is a universal language. We all go through things that challenge us and bring out our best, and sometimes bring out our worst.
I feel like I haven't been the best version of myself lately.
Normally, I am confident, effervescent, intelligent and sarcastic. In recent weeks I have only seen glimpses of the real me among depression and sadness following some major life changes. Everything that has been going on with Mr. Nice Guy makes me sad. I hate thinking that it's over. But it is. Unfortunately, we weren't meant to be. I have to move on and find out what my life is going to be without him. I went so quickly from The Ex to Mr. Nice Guy, I never really discovered single me.
Yes, there is Eclectic Listener. And yes, there are feelings there. But, it isn't something that concerns me. I know we both are wanting to be independent now and be with each other only when we want to be. I don't know if it will progress into something more, or something deeper. I think we are just letting whatever is going happen, happen. Organically. We aren't forcing anything. And, I kinda like that. I like the idea of not being lonely, but also not being put into a box. I want to just do what feels right and comfortable for a while. And for now, this does.
Life is such a funny thing. We rarely learn from the mistakes of others. We see their mistakes and think, "That would never happen to me. I'm too smart for that." When we say things like that, I think it makes God laugh. You inevitably put yourself in the very situation that you never thought you would be, and now it's up to you to do the right thing. Or not. I sometimes feel like I am fumbling through life and eventually, I'll hit the right path. I never did things the way everyone else did.
I have to find my own way.
4 comments:
I feel for you hon'. Not much to say that you didn't all ready say in this one. Change is scary, pain is difficult, and you'll get through it. Just know I'm thinking about you.
I know how you feel. But in times like these I always tell myself that everything always turns out for the best.
{Hugs}
I was just telling someone yesterday about how I'm not a fan of REM, but I forgot about "Everybody Hurts." Brilliant song.
You'll find you're own way (now I'm thinking Fleetwood Mac) but don't worry about whether you make a mistake or two.
Feel better. And that is so true about the REM--it really captures our emotions, no?
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